Friday, 21 December 2012

Why Did The Hedgehog Cross The Road?

Hedgehog (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Poor old Hedgehogs, they do get into trouble, don't they?

Why did the Hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flat mates.

Why did the baby Hedgehog cross the road?
To show he had guts.

Does anyone remember Hedgehog flavour crisps?
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Wednesday, 28 November 2012

There Were Three Balloons

English: Pennington Balloon Tournament
English: Pennington Balloon Tournament (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There were three balloons: 

A Daddy Balloon, a Mummy Balloon and a Baby Balloon.
They all lived happily together and they all slept in the same bed.

This went well at first, but after a while it started to become a problem.
You see, Baby Balloon just kept getting bigger and after a while, they were getting a bit squashed.

So one day, Daddy Balloon said 

"it's no good Baby Balloon, you're too big to stay in the same bed as us now. It's time to get your own bed where you can sleep like a big balloon."
So they got a new bed for Baby Balloon in his own room.

At first, Baby Balloon was very happy, and everyone slept soundly.
But then, in the middle of the night, Baby Balloon started to feel lonely.
So very quietly, he crept into Daddy and Mummy Balloon's room and looked at the space between them.

He knew there wasn't enough space for him, 

so very quietly he tiptoed up to the bottom of the bed, untied Daddy Balloon, let a little bit of air out and tied him up again.
Then he went up to Mummy Balloon, let a little bit of air out of her and tied her up too.
Finally, he did the same to himself.
Then he snuggled down between Mummy Balloon and Daddy Balloon and went to sleep.

Well, in the morning Daddy Balloon was furious to find him there.
"Baby Balloon, you've been very naughty", he said, "How could you do this to us?"
"We trusted you, Baby Balloon", he continued.
"You've let me down, you've let your mum down, and you've let yourself down!"
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Tuesday, 13 November 2012

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

An incandescent light bulb.
An incandescent light bulb. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Q: How many surrealists dose it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two. One to stand in the bath and the other to hold the giraffe!
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Thursday, 8 November 2012

Spike Milligan's Gravestone: It's Funny, Honest!

This is one of my all time favourites:

Spike Milligan, of many comedy programs, including the Goon show radio and TV series, has this written on his gravestone (in Gaelic, I'm lead to believe):

"I told you I was ill!"
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Wednesday, 7 November 2012

Car Parks

Tsunami Benefit KC: Tim Vine
Tsunami Benefit KC: Tim Vine (Photo credit: Diamond Geyser)
Edinburgh Fringe winner (multiple times) Tim Vine:
"Crime in multi-storey car parks. That's wrong on so many different levels!"
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What's funny and what's not?

Funny Bone

I've always liked humour of various kinds.
From quick one-liners, through to many comedy shows both past and present.

This blog will be an experiment: many of the posts will be just those one-liners; while some may be full blown posts about said comedy shows.

Some posts will (hopefully!) be amusing, some may just make you think, and some may do both.

So to start...

There are 10 kinds of people in the world.
Those who understand binary, and those who don't.
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